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Woot Woot! Congratulations!! Maybe this caught you off guard or maybe you have been counting the days! Either way, it is a very exciting time. There is so much fun to be had and choices to by made straight ahead of you both! It also, can be a very overwhelming and depending on how you handle it, it can be lonely and frustrating or the best next chapter you could have imagined!
Let’s focus on the latter!
With a huge laundry list of To-Do’s facing you, there are some key essentials that you have to put at the top of the list because they are time-sensitive, and you need to put big bold star next to them!
1. Shout if from the roof tops!
Call your parents, family, and closest friends before you make that post on Social! If your mom or BFF sees your post before a phone call or see your cute post of your hand with the ring … before a phone call from you with the exciting new, you could really unintentionally hurt feelings; this could start your journey as an engaged couple off on the wrong foot! Unfortunately, I have seen more then one scorned mother of the Bride or Groom, a sister or friend hold a grudge and make this experience not so fun for you both… they just want to feel important and apart of your special celebration too! They mean well so don’t keep them in the dark for too long and definitely reach out before you post!
2. Plan a get-a-way just the two of you.
Yes, I said that. Here’s the thing, everyone is going to ask you questions, insert their opinions welcomed or not. They want to feel important, but this is about you two. This is your wedding not theirs. It is really critical that you two have a vision and plan about what you want your engagement to look like. Is there travel involved? Who is going to be apart of the wedding party? Will moving households need to be planned? I say do a get-a-way first because once the planning train starts moving… it does not stop! And with that said, plan a few more get-a-ways with just your fiancé through this process. You cannot get time back!! You maybe taking the reins here, but they will appreciate the inclusion and connection with you! Plus, you will need a break too!
3. Choose your bridal party wisely.
Perhaps you did this during your get-a-way as it was suggested. If not, please do so now… you want this
wonderful group picked out before you move to step 4! Annnd, don't pick someone out of obligation. Remember this is your journey that the two of you are planning.
4. Throw an engagement party.
Depending on the time of year of the proposal, you can have an Engagement Party outdoor or in. You can rent a space or have something casual and intimate at home. The options are endless, but don’t go down a rabbit hole, ask yourself… Catered, BBQ, Pizza or wine & dessert bar. Maybe your favorite restaurant. You will want to consider how many quests you are inviting and perhaps hire a planner. The important thing here is that it reflects your character as a couple, your style, your tastes and the point is, that you just get together with your friends and family that want to celebrate you! This is something a friend can help you organize. It can really be fun for the two of you, Find a friend that is super helpful... it might be practice for Maid of Honor duties!
5. Draft a guest list.
You don’t have to have every single name written down, but it will help and you do need a fairly accurate number of invitees. Remember things have changed over the last several years and with the recent pandemic, you don’t have to invite your parents’ colleagues to your wedding if you don't want to. In fact, many couple due to attending their friend’s wedding pre-pandemic and now post-pandemic have learned that really 80-150 close friends/family is all they need. So be realistic about who you want at your wedding. You can also have a back up list of those people who you would like to see by maybe don’t connect with as often as you should. If you find that some people for sure cannot make it, then invite the others but this list is not something you are using at this moment. The list is really to help you with #6, your budget. You will also revisit this later in the planning process.
6. Create a Budget.
I don’t mind telling you, that asking your friends about wedding budgets who have recently held their own wedding, doing your own research and hiring a professional for help in this area is all acceptable. Maybe money is not a problem, but you still should have an idea of what you are spending for each vendor category. If money is more challenging, then you can’t move forward successfully without it. It is okay, to call 3 or 4 DJ’s to ask about pricing or just peruse their website and narrow down the list that way. Especially if your venue is a distance. Your friends maybe an excellent resource for you if they recently have held their own wedding, they have a good idea of what was spent. If it is not awkward, just ask… “I just want to get an idea of what a florist costs, your flowers were so beautiful!” A professional planner can help you in this area as well. However, typically they will ask you what your budget is? It is good to have an idea; Planners are really good at keeping you in budget. It's their job!
7. Start shopping for Venues.
Most people would say pick a date ASAP. But if you plan on getting married this summer and that is 8-6 months away then you need to jump on venue shopping first! It is quite possible the venue will pick your wedding date for you, based on their availability, just have a month or season in mind that you like and try to stay flexible. If you have a specific date in mind because that is significant to the two of you, you may need to be willing to move your wedding out a year + to achieve that date depending on what area you are getting married; remember many venues book up sometimes 2+ years in advance. This is very common!
8. Go Dress Shopping.
Yes, finally start dress shopping. Have fun! Bring one or two of your bridal party (too many opinions can make it hard on you). I know you wanted to do that the day he proposed, didn’t you. The reason I say wait a bit is because in your mind you might have this beachy – airy – flowing dress pictured. But you booked your wedding at a Chateau and "beachy" isn’t the look that will capture elegance at that venue. Or perhaps you decide on your grandparent’s farm, well, "beachy" probably is not the look you are going for their either but a fitted lace, off the shoulder with a gorgeous satin belt and antique broach while wearing some sassy cowboy boots will do the trick! Your venue or ceremony location has a lot to say about your wedding dress. I know! Who knew?
9. Gathering other vendor information.
Once the venue train starts going it is hard not to start thinking about everything else you need to do. All the other vendors that are needed to make the day you have envisioned come to life! Caterers, bartenders, event staff, florists, lighting, valet, bakers, DJ’s and the list truly can go on! Because you focused on your budget already and now have the initial guest count number narrowed down, this will all come together nicely. You need the budget and the number of guests to secure a caterer. That is obvious. But you need to know those number as well for a florist, why? Because of bouquets, boutonnieres and center pieces, your guest count will lend to how many tables you need, then you will know how many center pieces you will need. And so on... These vendors are professionals in their field, they will all ask you a million questions and some may not seem relevant but they ask for a reason. Trust the process and go professional!
10. Insure your wedding rings.
I knew a bride who had to change her tire. She was out in the middle of nowhere and that was her only option. She successfully made it to the nearest town to get her tire fixed only to discover she was no longer wearing her engagement ring. She did not have insurance. That was a bitter pill to swallow. You can ask your homeowners insurance company if they can add it or ask if they can draft a separate policy. I am not an expert in this field, but I know it will give you great piece of mind knowing it is covered!
11. Stay organized
Now, I am a wedding planner so of course I think you should hire a planner too! Especially if your guest count is 80+, you are traveling for a destination wedding, or many are traveling to you. In a short snippet you basically have 3 options when hiring most planners.
A. Full Planning – just like it says you need help with everything and really don’t want to be bothered or you don’t want the stress because you have a work schedule or are going to school and one more thing on your plate just won’t make it.
B. Partial planning – They are really hired to be your partner in planning and execution. You perhaps have a list but need expertise in contracts, etc..
C. Month-of-Management – Many refer to this as Day of Coordination, but I can tell you there really is no such thing. It is a month or two weeks minimum for this planner to wrangle all your vendors, create a timeline for day of, wrangle your wedding party and execute deliveries, set up, staging and tear down after you have left at the stroke of midnight, and everyone turns into a pumpkin and leaves! This type of planner is a goddess and deserves a gold star!
** Planners can manage their pricing very differently when it comes to their planning. Flat rate, % of full amount of wedding and hybrid. Your planner will go over pricing options with you.
Hiring a professional wedding planner will help alleviate the stress for the two of you and your family will enjoy the ceremony and reception instead of working and worrying. Friend, I am just going to say this, your friends really don’t want to clean up after your wedding. They say they want to be the “planner” until they discover the work it takes with hours of them being away from the fun or they have had a few drinks and they forget they have a job to do. They mean well and they love you but let them be your guest at your wedding; she needs to show off that she is "the friend who doesn’t leave the dance floor because she
has moves like Jagger! " There are some great tools out there to help you stay organized if you want to DIY. There are some incredible binders if you like to write it all down but if you are techy, you can find some websites like Zola and The Knot that can help too!
Friends remember, this is a joyous time, it can be stressful and exhausting when balancing your new life as a fiancé; possibly you have school, a career or kids! So do what you need to do to enjoy this experience.
Take time out for each other and for yourself. Keep your normal routines and it is okay to ask for help! You
do not have to be superwoman right now. Oh, and don’t let anyone highjack your wedding. This is your
wedding, what matters is what the two of you decide!
KaDeana Prévu Events and Consulting
Hi, I am KaDeana Roland. “I am Making memories one day at a time. I have been in the wedding industry since 1992 and started in hospitality, Concierge desk and ballroom events for a Seattle hotel. Working for a hotel with extremely high standards gave me a great foundation to learn and work from.
Knowing that I can provide those same expectations to my clients now brings me a joy in doing what I love. I make magic happen! My team is passionate. We love love! With experience and an eye for style and detail, you will soon be a guest at your own wedding. Allowing us to handle the details and you get to
watch your dad bust out his moves on the dance floor!
With a wealth of knowledge I have many resources and relationships that I have established. But because of my experience, I am realistic about budgets and expectations. I am straight forward. My team is exactly the same way! If it can be done, we will do it! If not, you will clearly present you plan B.
Coming from Hospitality I believe in and deliver exceptional service and honestly, the reliable vendor list I recommend provide the same level of service. I have extensive travel arrangement and destination experience. So really, you hold the keys to the castle. Where do you want to get married? We
can make it happen. Fill out a contact form and let's get started!
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